Screwed.edu
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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