We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
