I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
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