is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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