Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
