Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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