I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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