You work out of a Hotel?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I am midnight drunk by noon
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
