well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
