ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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