I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize