Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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