that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
