there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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