so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
