Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
