Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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