It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
