I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
