Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
