we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Fuck appropriateness.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
it's like heaven, but drunker
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
