yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
