some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
