im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize