Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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