i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
