hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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