id be glad to
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
