Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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