i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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