is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
