Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
