you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
