He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
