I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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