I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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