Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
