i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
