the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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