He asked to "fluff my boner.."
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
