I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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