Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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