My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
