so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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