ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
