If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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