Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
