i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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