i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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