he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
