I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
