My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
