So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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