Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
