the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
