Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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