he wants to bone in the snuggie
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
