Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
