we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
