He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
We smell like vodka and hangover
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