I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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