in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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