I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize