Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
