I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize