whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Randomize
