i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
