Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Apparently you make a good broom.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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